Our Story

Us, Actually is founded and written by me. But the “us” is much bigger than one person.

It represents the women who recognize themselves in these stories — the capable, dependable women everyone counts on, who love their families, their work and the lives they have built, but sometimes need a little taking care of, too.

Where it started

The idea came during a particularly intense season when work was demanding, home was demanding and parenting a teenager was demanding. I was exhausted and finally told my husband, “I need a mental reset.” I went away by myself for a few days and came home feeling like myself again.

It made me realize that women shouldn’t have to reach complete depletion before giving themselves permission to pause. We need smaller, more ordinary moments of respite — and sometimes it would be nice if someone else noticed that we need them.

That became the heart of Us, Actually: a thoughtful piece of mail that arrives for her. Not another bill, advertisement, request or notification. Just a few minutes when nobody needs anything from her.

Who it’s for

I’m writing to the woman who carries more than most people realize. Her days are filled with work, family, parenting, home, relationships, appointments, decisions and the constant feeling that she is supposed to know what happens next. She is capable and grateful, but she is also tired, funny, complicated and occasionally ready for everyone to need her a little less.

While the stories often speak especially to women in their 40s, 50s and 60s, Us, Actually is meant to create connection between adult women across generations.

What arrives in the envelope

Each monthly envelope includes a candid personal letter, something to keep, something to use, something to give to another woman and a small surprise. The experience is tactile, personal and intentionally offline.

These are not self-improvement assignments. There are no five-step plans, productivity goals, journaling prompts or instructions to use the time wisely. The voice is warm, honest and lightly irreverent. It makes room for the contradictions of real life: loving the people in your life while occasionally complaining about them, accepting yourself while still caring about how you look, wanting purpose while also wanting reality television, shopping and a drink with a girlfriend.

The goal

Help a woman pause, smile, feel understood and perhaps pass that feeling on to someone else.

Sometimes it would just be nice if someone else noticed.

So, I noticed.